How to befriend your mom

Samantha emailed us “ Hi Dawn and Cher, I think it is so cool that you both are so close. My mom and I have a good relationship, but I would never consider her my friend. My mom is my mom, but I don’t feel comfortable telling her things. How can I go about “befriending her”?

Hi Samantha,

First of all, thank you so much for writing in via our contact us section. This is a great question and one I am excited to talk about. The fact that you want to be friends with your mom I think is awesome. Communication is the most important thing in any relationship and if you want to be close with your mom then you have to start by letting her into your life. Once you start telling her about important issues in your life, you will be surprised by the amount of interest she will have in it. I think a big thing that keeps us from talking to our moms is the fear of being judged, but you have to try to remember that your mom was young once too, and she wasn’t always perfect either.

If you do open up and you start to feel like she is becoming to worried, fearful, motherly, etc. then try talking to her. Tell her “mom sometimes I just need you to take off your mom hat and just be my friend, theres no one I trust more than you and I’d love to include you in my life, but I need you to not judge me for it.” Most likely your mom wants to be involved in your life and once she hears this, I truly believe she will let her “mom guard” down and be there for you as a friend too. It all starts by communicating. Start small and work your way to deeper conversations. It doesn’t always happen overnight. It takes taking action to make change in any situation, but I promise you, befriending your mom can be the most marvelous thing in any womans life!

Best of luck Samantha xox

-Cher & Dawn